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| Today at Starbucks the new worker (a white lady nearing middle age) handed me my receipt and said 'here you go handsome.' I think I may have blushed. When did I become a woman? Except with women, they here it soooo much (unless you're joanne, nikki, or karen who often get confused with characters from 'The Fifth Element' and I'm not talking about Mila Jovovich) that it deflects off of their emotionally impenetrable shields like bullets off of Superman. I'm not sure where I'm going with this...I guess to say that some people do find me attractive, even if it is within the context of customer service. Take that Cassie Kim!
I'm not the only one sick of that 'I kissed a girl and I stained by ban-su' song, am I? This song is destined to be featured on some VH1 show with the cast of Stella making out with a blow-up doll saying something with their inevitable hipster-ironic inflections like 'I too have kissed a girl, and I too have liked it.' Barf.
It's my 5 year and 2 month anniversary today! That's....62 months. I think I'll title my first self help book 'How To Lie,Cheat and Steal Your Way To A Wonderful Relationship.' Thinking this was a real book, Joanne just went on to amazon.com...only to be disappointed...sorry, Joanne. That was sort of a low blow, wasn't it?
On that note, have a good Wednesday everybody!
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| Shouldn't have Shaq been wearing his outfit from 'Kazaam' when he was bustin on Kobe? Do you think Kobe really ate Shaq's ass? Or did Mike Smrek rejoin the Lakers as the representative of the Showtime Ass-Eaters, and eat Shaq's ass unbeknownst to Shaq, who thought it was Kobe the whole time when really everyone knew it was Mike Smrek, which is all explained by this fact I found on basketball-reference.com:
Born: August 31, 1962 in Welland, Canada
Anyway...
I'm not trying to perpetuate the stereotype that Canadians are ass-eaters because frankly most of them are not, most of them are figure skaters. But if all figure skaters are ass eaters, does that in fact make all Canadians ass eaters? And, more importantly, does that make Mike Smrek a figure skater?
Those last two paragraphs were either wildly funny, or wildly Mike Smrek: you make the call.
The text of the day came from Joanne Lee: 'Seriously. You're my chingoo for life even though 2 of my best friends hate you. ;)' I don't even know what to do with that...I mean, and I know you're all thinking this, what fucking 27 year old uses the word chingoo? Unless it's The Coop picking up Yuri (from ABDC) at some Korean club with the line 'Hey Yuri, wanna be my chingoo for the night?' Cuz that would be hard. And everyone knows that's how the Coop rolls.
Anyway...
This moment in my life was FUN:
Cass: who do you think is prettier me or her (Yuri)?
Phil: you guys are about the same I'd say.
Cass: fuck you you fucking liar. The same? That means you think she is WAY prettier than me.
Phil: I said the same! How am I a fucking liar!?!?!?
Cass: Fuck you asshole.
Phil: Omg bourge, you are the most beautiful girl in the...
Cass: save it, you're full of shit.
The End.
A Few Thoughts On The Bean After The Most Traumatizing Game This Side Of A Tim Thomas 3 Point Shot And/Or The Memorial Day Massacre (Depending On How Far Back You Wanna Go):
Typing that took a lot out of me, lets put that thought on hold for a while, I'm still not ready to talk about anything Lakers, unless it involves role players of the past, like Tony Smith, or Mike Penberthy.
Anyway...
If you're being informed of the wedding date by one of those 'save the date' postcards, should you really be invited? You go to your mail box, you toss aside the bills, throw away the grocery store periodicals (tangentially: why the fuck do they send so many of those?!?!!? Cantaloupe is 89 cents a pound, I get it already...now leave me the fuck alone), and open the one handwritten piece of mail you get, and it's a save the date postcard, aren't you just angry that your other friend got theirs before you?
Ok, I'm tired now.
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| Tell me are you up for the challenge?
Cuz my heart is damaged, damaged
I thought that I should I let you know.
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| This one hurts, this one hurts a lot. Was there a death in the family? Why do I feel this way? This game was a senseless tragedy. I feel sick to my stomach. The only solace is that this catastrophic meltdown can be redeemed with three more victories, which, for most fans, is the only thing that would buy this team redemption at this point. Championship or bust. Our back are against the wall...it's time to figure out if this game is indicative of our team character, or a turning point in the dawn of yet another Lakers dynasty. Lets hope for the latter. Lets walk through the fire. As this is the year of change, the only thing to do is hold hands, and say 'Yes, We Can.'
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I seriously thought I was going to vomit during the 3rd
quarter- I literally felt disgusted, and woozy.
I knew we would win, but the way we did it left a lot to be wanted.
Cass kept asking me if I were happy that Lakers won last
night, I replied that I was ‘relieved.’ We’ve
played about as poorly as we can play, and I’m relieved that we won at least
one game, so that we don’t have to be the humiliated victim at the end of
insufferable barbs hurled at us by the ‘Boston fan’- the most loathsome,
annoying creature to walk the planet (aside from tyrannical African dictators
that gain wealth at the expense of their countrymen).
I should have continued ‘I’ll be happy when we win the
championship…this was nothing more than a small moral victory…the Lakers are
about championships, the Lakers are about dynasties (anything less, would be
uncivilized).’
What annoys me beyond belief- it’s not the officiating, that
is, the wild inconsistency wurling durbish that is, allegedly, the officiating-
is the rash of injuries the Celtics have sustained through only 3 games. As a fan I can sympathize with any Celtic fan
(for once) having lived through the nightmares that were 1989, and 1991 (to
name a few). Would we have won those
championships, all things being equal?
Maybe, maybe not…and honestly, probably not; nevertheless; it would have
been nice to have a puncher’s chance as it were. The rule in sport is that injuries suck, and
injuries in the Finals suck even more- as a fan, you always want everyone to be
at full strength so the ‘true’ winner can be determined, even if you are at the
short end of that proverbial stick, which is to say you want that when you win,
and when you lose- it helps all of us sleep at night.
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